Preparations are already underway for this Summer's 3-day Mulchstock Festival in Johnson Park.
Hackensack's massive portable stage is sitting nearby, ready to rock:
The site where the stage will be placed is being prepared with multiple flavors of imported dirt (helicopters transporting performers will land on the other side of the fence):
Bright red picnic tables and benches - maybe as many as 12 - are ready for the thousands of hungry concertgoers, and glow-in-the-dark, yellow 55-gallon open-air Port-O-Potties (hope you're not bashful) have been rented for those special after-meal needs (Note: please do not use the Hackensack River for that purpose - the river's for skinnydipping and bathing only):
Of course, the real star is the mulch itself, which will be spread all over the site just before the crowds and 3 days of heavy rain arrive:
Remember, nothing says "party" like rolling around in decomposing nature, with its nitrogen, ammonia, bacteria, and especially that festive aroma that'll be the envy of all your friends and neighbors (within a 3-block radius) when you wear it back home.
Note: this was supposed to be posted 17 days ago (do the math)